21st Century Audiences Suck

Lockdowns and something significantly more insidious has ruined music performances in the last decade. You've read the title.

It's been many years since I've been audience to a choral performance. Last week, I attended the 40th Anniversary of the Bendigo Youth Choir (and the retirement of Valerie Broad). COVID decimated attendance across the board for many music-related projects, and the master of ceremonies mentioned BYC had to rebuild following the virus lockdowns. I can't imagine being involved during that time, and for the choir to still be standing today is quite the achievement, let alone having done so for forty years.

Unfortunately, my time was almost entirely overshadowed by something far more trivial.

The Death of Audience Etiquette

I didn't think I'd be back to bemoan this topic after the disastrous E3 Bethesda press conference way back when. Yet here I am. Again.

My mother and I took our seats at the BYC concert. We were enjoying ourselves for the first five minutes. But of course, there is nothing worse than having a bright white rectangle suddenly blind you during a song.

A 40-something-year-old man decided to punt. Punt. Perhaps the darkness of the theatre impeded his memory: we are all seated at a concert we paid money to see! No amount of glaring in his direction made any difference. So focused on his little digital screen was this man that the sixth sense every human tends to have when people stare at them didn't trigger.

It remained on, it swayed, moved up and down and left and right, was covered and then uncovered. This guy was going to go blind from staring at this thing in a dark room. I was going to go blind because he wanted to. The song was called The Enchanted Hour. I was not enchanted. I was being tormented.

A lip gloss got lobbed directly at his elbow. It was the only thing that (silently and effectively) shocked and stopped him. Like a kinetic recalibration was needed to remind him that he wasn't the only audience member and there were definitely people behind him.

And no, it wasn't me that threw it.

But why did Mr Punter insist on blinding the back row with his betting in the first place?

In the last few concerts and musicals I've been to in the last twelve months, there's an ongoing issue: mobile phones. We humans are addicted to them. We must capture that moment for us to share on our imaginary photo walls for our friends followers to see! Or, lord forbid, we miss an important message! Or post!

Patrons must ensure all electronic devices are switched off or to silent throughout the performance.

Bendigo Venues and Events--Ticketing Terms and Conditions

We seem to have cultivated an audience suffering from entitlement. I paid money to be here, I can do what I like when I like, much to the detriment of others. And the venue ushers seemingly don't do much (if anything) about it--not that I blame them. In recent times, the second you trod on someone's sense of entitlement, you're hit with threats of bodily harm or social media ostracization. It's a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation. It's just safer for all to avoid the mere potential of conflict, leaving the entitled to get away with ruining an experience for everyone else.

To put it in perspective: last year, I witnessed a family(!!) filming Star Wars: Return of the Jedi live in concert. The Melbourne Symphony Orchestra was performing the score to the movie. Never mind that two of them were pointing their cameras at the movie screen (a movie you can buy for less than $10 on eBay), the other one was raising the phone right up into my eyeline in a theatre that specifically said not to film.

Please do not take any photos or videos during the performance, as this is distracting for both the Orchestra and other audience members around you – just sit back and enjoy the music!

Frequently Asked Questions--Melbourne Symphony Orchestra

Perhaps our punter thought that, since he wasn't taking photos, he could just hang back and do as he liked? As a performer myself, it irks me. We can see your faces being lit up by your screen from the stage. Then you become our focal point.

Artists across the board have bemoaned their fans bringing them phones in and capturing photos. The onus is now on them to get their audiences to do the right thing, rather than the regular norm of respect and general decency. Bruno Mars and Anderson. Paak quite literally locked audience phones away in 2022. Last year, This Never Happened festival went out of their way to have festival goers put stickers on their phone camera lenses in an effort to stop them recording. Organisers now have to account for audience members being glued to pixels and correct the behaviour for them.

Performers seem to be fighting a losing battle: nothing can stop at least one bastard from whipping out their phone and doing god knows what mid-set.

What has this audience become? These rectangular things are now the highlight of the performance audiences paid to be at. And why? For digital clout? Why, as the unfortunate ticker holder of the seat nearby you, do I have to suffer your lack of decorum?

So, please. Your phone doesn't need you while you're watching a performance or a movie. Just leave it. Otherwise, what's the point of you even coming?

Additionally: latecomers.

In regards to auditorium interruptus, I say only this: you knew what time the curtains rise. You managed to get here late anyway, making it everybody else's problem as you step over everyone on your way to your middle seats.