belonging

Belonging

Belonging is knowing where you stand in a group of peers. Having similar interests. It may not just be friends, though friends are important, but a workplace or classroom where you feel valued, important, useful. But sometimes, you need a push from others to position yourself in the right spot.

Photo by Tim Mossholder / Unsplash

My students went through a Live Life Whole program, and as a supervising teacher (who also happens to be a rather prolific writer), I have some thoughts on the prompts students were given. As in, I want to answer them too!

What does it mean to belong?

One of my students chose to sit at the end of a table while the program operated around them. They were entirely silent, watching the proceedings when they were meant to be discussing such belonging with other students. The issue isn't that she’s a loner, but she was separated from her other Year 7 friends due to how our groups were organised.

To belong is to be with your people. If you’re an awkward kind of person, who values time spent in solitude without the drama of high school, then you’re likely not going to integrate well with the sports girls who live on minute insults, valuing beauty over brains—not saying all girls are like this, but you know the types.

So I moved her.

It’s the worst thing in the world, being singled out by your teacher because you’re the one not talking, and then being shoved into a table of girls who hadn’t really thought to include you. You’re the outlier. But we were fortunate that there are different types of groups in a school yard, or an office space, or a wide community.

“One of the most important things about being a human being is feeling like you belong. If you get signals from your parents or your classmates that you don’t belong… it can really have a profound impact on your mental and physical health.” – Brene Brown (thanks for the quote, Live Life Whole!)

Belonging is knowing where you stand in a group of peers. Having similar interests. It may not just be friends, though friends are important, but a workplace or classroom where you feel valued, important, useful. But sometimes, you need a push from others to position yourself in the right spot.

(I'm pleased to report that the Year 7 integrated into the group I placed her with for the rest of the session. A marked improvement, to go from sitting alone in the corner, to fully engaging in discussions and connecting with a Year 8 group with similar interests.)